Just say it
by DobbyTheElf7
Summary: Gemma chooses Tom, but the moment she reaches his front door she realises that she made the wrong choice. Can she manage to correct her mistake and leave him? Or has she just lost everything she ever could have had with Billy...
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! Ok, this is going to be a multi-chaptered fanfiction (I'm rubbish at one-shots…) but hopefully won't be too long… also, Gemma will be with Tom at the start! (Although *spoiler alert* she's gonna end up with Billy in the end ;-) )**

**I loved the series, and I cannot wait for the next one, but for now this is my little attempt at satisfying my need for this amazing series.**

**I'm also warning you that I may get some of the facts wrong…(I couldn't get hold of the episodes to watch again, so I saw them about 3 months ago) if you do spot anything that I've got muddled, please tell me! Thanks **

**P.s, the writing in **_**italics **_**is Gemma's thoughts.**

**Chapter 1**

Gemma Jones stood nervously outside the shiny front door of Tom's house.

_I'm doing the right thing _she told herself for the hundredth time that minute _I chose Tom, he's right for me: he's my age, he's sensible, he's nice, I like him, unlike Billy, he's too young, way too young, and he's Alfie's friend, it would be wrong. It would be crazy and unexpected. Maybe I should be more unexpected and crazy? Maybe that would be a __**good**__ thing? No. I chose Tom._

_If I chose Tom then why have I been standing outside his door for 10 minutes and I still haven't pressed the doorbell?_

Gemma raised her hand nervously and gently pushed the doorbell.

_It's fine, I'll see him answer the door then I'll know that I made the right choice._

She stood there awkwardly; half hoping that he wasn't in.

_Maybe he's not home? I should go in case he's out. No, he told me he'd be here, I'll stay._

She stood there longer still, thoughts whizzing round her head like there's no tomorrow.

_If I chose Tom, then why I am hoping that he's out? So that I can go over to Billys and kiss him again? No, definitely not, it's because I've…I've left the radio on at home; if he's not here then I can go back and turn it off. Yes, that's it._

She heard footsteps, and braced herself, waiting for the door to open.

_Oh no, why am I hoping that Billy will answer the door for some absurd reason? I think…in fact I know now…I've made the wrong choice. I choose Billy, that's why I can't get him out of my mind._

The footsteps got louder.

_I need to see Billy, right now. I've made the wrong choice, what am I going to do?_

The door swung open to reveal Tom, shirt half done up with shaving foam spread across his face.

_I've made the wrong choice._

"I've made the wrong choice" Gemma said out loud.

"What? I sorry I took so long to get to the door, I was just in the middle of shaving" he said cheerfully.

Gemma froze, unsure of how to act in the bizarre circumstance.

"Are you ok? Why've you made the wrong choice?"

Gemma still said nothing, her eyes widened as the situation clicked in her mind. She'd chosen Tom, but already knew that it was completely the wrong choice.

"Do you want to come in? I've got something to tell you"

"I…I've made the wrong choice about…"

_Come on Gemma! Tell him that you have to go, that you chose Billy!_

"…about…"

_Tell him! Do it now! Just say it! Don't think, just say!_

"…about where to go on holiday next year" she finished, mentally kicking herself.

"I mean I thought that Italy would be nice, but now I'm thinking south of France"

"Right…do you want to come in then?"

"Yes, yes of course!" Gemma followed him into the house.

"Are you ok to stay here whilst I go and sort myself out?"

"Yes, that's fine!"

"Great, make yourself at home, there's Red Bush tea in the pot if you want it!

_You utter fail of a human being, you don't deserve Billy, you definitely don't deserve Tom. Maybe that could be my excuse, I don't deserve you? No. You will tell him, the moment he comes back down, you will say it._

Gemma awkwardly balanced on the edge of one of the chairs. She shuffled back, and realised that it was in fact, a chair that you could spin round on. She started to twirl from one side to the other, completely entranced by the twisted motion, and didn't notice Tom walking back into the room.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself" he chuckled. Gemma looked up and spotted him. She put her foot down to try and stop the chair, and in doing so managed to catapult herself onto the floor, landing at Tom's feet.

"I just…sorry, I didn't mean to…I was just sitting, then…" she stuttered, jumping to her feet and dusting herself off. Her mortification spread across her cheeks and a burning blush.

_Nice one Gemma. Really smooth, really really smooth…_

"Relax, relax, anyway, what I was going to say was, the Yurt thing is cancelled. I'm so sorry, I was just about to ring you, but then you turned up anyway"

"I…I…um"

Tom, taking Gemma's lack of words as sadness or shock, immediately began to apologise.

"I'm so sorry! I was looking forward to it too! But it's all flooded, the whole place is, but maybe we can go somewhere else? What about France? France would be lovely! I mean you were just talking about you holiday, so maybe-"

"No no, don't worry about the Yurts" she waved her hand in the air to stop him talking "I…"

_Tell him! Just go for it!_

"I need to tell you something" she blurted out.

_Yay! You got yourself this far, now for the actual…thing_

"Yes?" Tom looked up, intrigued.

"I…I can't go to France with you"

**Ooh, slight cliff-hanger! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**No! Just discovered that they're not making another series! Could they not even tell us who she chooses? (so so so so so has to be Billy…)**

**Chapter 2**

"Oh, well there's no need to worry, what about somewhere in the UK, maybe Shrewsbury? That's meant to be nice"

_No! Tell him __**why **__you can't go to France with him!_

"Tom, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't be here, I just-" Gemma paused, looking at the heart-breaking look of sadness and worry on Tom's face.

"Yes?"

"I just…dropped by to say…to tell you that…I'mgettingbacktogetherwithJaso n"

_What? It's __**Billy**__, not Jason! What have you done now?_

"Sorry? I thought that Jason is marrying Inca?" Tom frowned in confusion.

"Yes, he is, in fact I must be feeling ill" Gemma spoke quickly, sounding flustered "Of course we're not getting back together! Why would I say that?!" she laughed nervously.

_Maybe just leave._

"Right… can I get you a drink of anything? Water…tea…coffee?"

_In fact leave right now! The longer you stay the worse this is going to get…_

"Oh no I'm fine, in fact I've got to go! Meeting Bil…meeting someone for lunch!"

"But lunch was hours ago? Don't you mean dinner?" Tom laughed.

"Oh yes, well bye! I'll call you!" she wobbled to her feet and almost ran to the door.

"Bye Gemma! I hope to see you very soon!" Tom called.

"Oh yes! Bye for now!" she flew out the door and off to find her car. The moment she found it, she jumped in and threw all her bags on the passenger seat.

"No no no no no" she moaned, repeatedly banging her head on the steering wheel.

"I'll go now, see Billy and sort the whole thing out" she told herself.

_Go on then, go!_

Gemma paused, could she really go and see Billy whilst still 'with' Tom?

_Of course you can, once you know you're with Billy you can just tell Tom. Anyway, did you not see what happened now you just tried to tell him?_

In the heat of the moment, Gemma shoved the keys in the car, rammed the gear stick into reverse and drove the fastest she ever had to get to Billy's. The moment she got there, she raced up to his door and raised her fist to knock on the door.

_Yes! You've made it here! Go on, knock! What's stopping you?_

Gemma froze, arm raised in the air.

_Don't stop! Go for it! Knock!_

She still didn't move, knowing that the moment her fist hit the door, her whole life would change.

_Knock! Go on, knock! KNOCK!_

Gemma's arm swung forwards and hit the door a lot harder than she had intended.

"Shit! My hand!" she shouted, tenderly feeling the bruised fingers in one hand, and not noticing the door swinging open.

"Mrs Jones?" she looked up, straight into Billy's deep, blue eyes.

"Gemma, please call me Gemma, I can't do this if you call me Mrs Jones" she sighed.

"Oh, hello Gemma, what do you mean, this?"

"I mean…I chose you"

"You…chose me?"

"Yes"

"I…really?"

"Of course! Did I misunderstand it or something?"

_No! What if it's all a big confusion and he didn't mean anything! Ah, what have you done Gemma!_

"No, I just never thought you'd actually come" he admitted "maybe you should come in?"

"Yes" she sighed again, and stepped into his flat.

"I kind of…had something ready, just in case…just in case you did turn up" he admitted, leading her through his tidy flat to a small balcony, covered in fairy lights.

"Oh, it's beautiful!" she gushed, staring around the twinkling lights.

"I'll…I'll just go and grab the food" Billy rushed off whilst Gemma sat down on one of the fold-away chairs. Billy returned quickly, arms laden with a picnic basket. He set it down on the floor, and began unpacking boxes full of sandwiches…salad…brownies…crisps…

"This is amazing Billy" Gemma said.

"Thanks, I wanted it to perfect…for you" he smiled gently at her.

_You're perfect for me, except for the slight age gap, but we'll just ignore that_ Gemma thought to herself.

"So…tuck in!"

Gemma picked up a plastic plate and loaded sandwiches and salad onto it, before tucking into them.

',',',',',',

"You're looking really beautiful tonight Gemma" Billy told her after they had finished eating, and were sitting side by side under the stars that now filled the sky.

"I just wanted to say, I don't care about the age difference…or that you're my friends mum…"

"Oh don't say it like that, it makes me sound really old" Gemma joked, but Billy was completely serious.

"I mean it, I really, really like you Gemma, and I just want you to know that"

_Oh god, he likes me! Wait, he's stopped talking…he's moving nearer…he's…is he going to kiss me?_

Billy moved in nearer to Gemma, his eyes like deep pools of lust. Gemma stayed still, not wanting to embarrass herself again. In a second, Billy captured her lips with his own and Gemma closed her eyes, lost in the moment. They kissed for what felt like hours, then Billy pulled away.

"Sorry, I've wanted to do that for so long"

"Don't apologise" she told him, sounding quite authoritative.

"Well thank you"

"I-" Gemma started to talk, but was cut off by Billy's lips.

',',',',',',


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"So what are we going to do?" Gemma asked the next morning as she woke up in Billy's bed.

"I don't care, as long as I'm with you and you're happy" Billy replied smiling jokily.

_He wants me to be happy! He's so sweet! _Gemma mused.

"What?" Billy asked suddenly.

"What, what?"

"You were smiling at the ceiling for ages" he explained.

"I was…I was um…um just admiring your ceiling, it's stunning!" Gemma invented quickly, not wanting to be labelled by him as 'mad' or 'weird'.

Billy stared up at the crack filled and painted peeling ceiling.

"Really? I'd just taken the wallpaper down for redecorating" he smiled knowingly at her.

_I really should stop going off into my thoughts in the middle of conversations… or I should come up with better excuses…_

"Fine, I was just thinking" Gemma admitted.

"Thinking what?"

"How to break up with Tom and then tell everyone that I'm in love with someone about twenty years younger than me…oh and he also happens to be good friends with my son" She rolled her eyes, smiling at him.

"You're in love with me?" Billy asked.

"I…I didn't mean to um…say that bit, I mean I do really, really like you, but I haven't known you long at all and…" Gemma stuttered, blushing fiercely.

"It's ok, I understand" Billy nodded sadly "but what are you going to do about Tom? I mean you're technically cheating on him right now"

_Oops, I forgot about that…_

"Oh shit, I hadn't thought of it that way…" Gemma muttered.

"Are you sure you made the right choice? That you don't want to run off back to Tom?"

"You think I'd do that? Do you actually think I could do that to you?" Gemma shrieked, jumping up and out of the bed.

"No! I didn't mean it like that" Billy said quickly "All I meant was, are you sure you've made the right choice?"

Gemma relaxed and climbed back into the bed.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life"

',',',',',',

Gemma stood nervously in her kitchen, holding the phone up and staring at it.

_I can do this. I can ring Tom and tell him 'It's not working, I'm sorry'._

She typed in the first half of his number.

_Half way there already: just type the other half, call, and apologise._

She pressed in the next six digits.

_And now the call button._

Her finger hovered over the little green button.

_Just one press and it's all over._

Thinking of Billy, she pushed the green button and immediately heard the phone ringing.

_It's ringing now; just say it the moment he picks up._

The phone kept ringing, no sign of an answer anytime soon.

_Maybe he's out _she thought hopefully.

_No, he has to answer so that I can sort this whole mess out._

The ringing stopped and she heard the phone being picked up.

_Here goes nothing…_

"Hello?" Tom's kind face crackled through the phone.

"Um…Hi Tom, it's Gemma here" she said quickly.

"Oh hello Gemma!" the extra cheer in his voice was evident, and Gemma mentally kicked herself for what she was about to do.

"I just need to say…we can't be together any more, not as a couple, I'm really sorry to do this over the phone but I knew I could never say it if I saw your face. You're really nice and kind and all of that, but we're just not working…" Gemma rambled on, feeling worse and worse with each sentence. When she had finished talking, all she could here was silence from Tom.

"Hello? Tom are you still there?"

"Yes, are you sure about this Gemma? If it was about the Yurts, then I could sort something else out?" the hurt in Tom's voice now completely blocked out any happiness he had had a few seconds ago.

"I…I'm sorry…I have to go" Gemma said quickly, putting the phone down before he could reply.

_I hate myself right now for doing that to him._

',',',',',',

"'ello yemma" Inca nodded at her as she opened the front door to her.

"Hi Inca, hi girls! How are you?" Gemma gushed as she picked up Charlotte and Jess from Inca and Jason's a few days later.

"The food was weird" they moaned in unison.

"And she kept playing a weird whale noise" Jess added, and Inca frowned at the two of them.

"Oh, don't be rude girls; I'm sure Inca's food was delicious"

"Gemma? I need to talk to you quickly" Jason shouted from the kitchen.

"Go and get in the car girls, I won't be very long" she chivvied them out the door, and then walked quickly to the kitchen where a weird moaning sound was playing softly.

"Tom called me"

"So he mentioned us…us not being together any longer?" Gemma said nervously.

"Yes, he thinks that he did something wrong, and he wants to talk to you about it"

"Why did he ring you though? I mean you really didn't like him and I think he realised that…"

"He was pissed, anyway why did you break up with him - not that you were really that together - I mean there weren't exactly men lined up the streets, proposing to you?"

"I…I just didn't think it would work"

_Why is Jason talking to me about this? Why? This is mortifying…talking to my ex-husband about how I've just split up with my only sort of boyfriend for countless years…_

"Well he seems to think you've found someone else, I told him that there was no chance of that happening" Jason scoffed.

"Oi, I am here you know" Gemma said, irritated.

"What I meant was you wouldn't do that to him, you know dump him and find someone else just like that" Jason continued carefully, moving his legs closer together to protect himself if Gemma got angry.

"No you're right; I wouldn't do that to him" Gemma nodded.

_Shit. Now what am I going to do about Billy?_


End file.
